Which way now … is the only way THroo?

I found myself close to tears on Christmas morning. He and I had spent months preparing for this day secretly buying gifts for each other decorating the house. Opening boxes of old memories of the past and dealing with the ghost that come with that. But there was this moment while we sipped coffee taking turns opening gifts and laughing; his robe was barely covering his broad shoulders. His silver custom cuff necklace that I had got him nearly a year ago was hanging almost lost in his chest hair and there was this smile across his face. A smile that wasn’t forced, wasn’t  brooding it was just there… waiting to be seen. 

I quickly snapped a photo like I always do (pictures and selfies are how I record my life) and I looked down at the screen and tears instantly started to stir in my eyes. I was unbelievably happy. There were no visible stars in the sky but I’m sure they were queuing up in a line like they did in that Hercules movie I loved to watch as kid. We embraced .. part of me was hoping he didn’t see the emotions written all over my face, the other part of me didn’t care. I was filled with so much positive emotions in that moment that I wanted to hold onto him forever but you know life 🙂

I had been thinking about what to do with THroo Apparel for months. It had started as a way to show someone you care or that they made an impact in your life… really I was just trying to help my mom make some money during the pandemic (people were not lining up to buy weddings dresses in 2020) all while helping the community. She was the reason Throo is spelled the way it is. She had to fight my elementary school for my proper diagnosis for my learning disability which if you are reading this I hope doesn’t show too much. But life got busy things happened and it all had to be gently and quietly pushed to the side.

This past … gosh my entire life (like most of us) has been a series of trials and tribulations, building bridges some to escape and some to celebrate, I guess what I am trying to say is our lives can easily be referred to as the line that carries us through thick and thin. 

I sat with a friend having coffee a few weeks ago I was dressed in a elf costume and ready to accept donations for the non profit I currently work at (I say currently because I count my lucky stars everyday that I have this awesome job). We were catching up that day over coffee. Paula had been a regular at the bakery and we were having this deep conversation about some of the struggles and achievements and strengths and weaknesses I had made it through and she said “You should be proud of what you have been through and all the a you have accomplished at your age”

I simply replied with “While it is not like I have climbed everest”

Her face lit up and she replied with “Oh so that’s what you judge yourself against” she was almost ready to laugh  

The truth is being able to make it through the darkest times in your life is just as important or is just as much of an achievement as someone running a marathon or trekking the himalayas (both things i want to do before i die). 

So here I am sitting in my office on my lunch break trying to carve out my plan for Throo Apparel. Within the time since I started Throo I have closed two business one of which was my childhood dream (my apologies younger me) and the other a store I thought would “save my relationship” within that time I also ended my marriage, sold the house, moved back under mom and dads roof, crumbled into a million pieces and slowly but surely rebuilt my life. Got my health on track, met a handsome dreamboat of a man, bought a house, got a new job moved in with him and the dog and built a pretty good life. But I often find myself wanting to do something with THroo so here I am doing something? 

My goal for THroo was always to become more then just a shirt or hat or badge or a sticker someone adorns themselves with. I wanted it to be a way for someone to say hey “I’m going to be there for you” or “hey I’m only still here because of you” or (thanks to the lessons I have learnt volunteering with Family and Children Services)  “Hey you that’s right I’am still standing”

So I thought I would start with telling my story and the people I have to thank for getting me THroo the good, the bad, the pretty, the ugly and thick and the thin. Maybe one day you’ll share your story,